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Virtues A Family Affair - video series

 

Virtues:  A Family Affair

Video Series

 

This information is based on summaries provided by Betsy Lydle Smith, a Virtues Project trainer based in Seattle, USA.  Each tape is 25 minutes and begins with quotes relevant to the virtue. 

 

1.   Idealism

This is the introduction session from a six week course run in Victoria, B.C.  Linda Kavelin Popov explains how The Virtues Project began, the incidence of violence and discusses authority. She outlines four different models of parenting.  Dan Popov speaks to the question “Who are our children, really?”  Linda briefly outlines the five strategies.

 

2.  Kindness

Using the Language of the Virtues

 

Linda talks about labeling, the group does a shaming to naming exercise, and discusses names they were called. The Lucas family from Moses Lake talks about Language.   Paul Lucas talks about his relationship with his children. A virtues pick is demonstrated.

 

3. Joyfulness   

Recognize Teachable Moments

 

This contains stories about positive and negative discipline of young children by Linda.  It includes a great story of the courtesy of a small child.  It covers the purpose of authority. 

How to do a Virtues Pick.  Person picks Joyfulness, and talks about how it relates to Teachable Moments; whether a good or bad thing happens and finding the lesson.  A useful conversation about Joyfulness.  Linda covers children talking about deep subjects, with a Virtues Pick.   Teenage girls do a virtues pick with Joyfulness.  Marny talks about her son.  Preschoolers go to a retirement home and sing.

 

 

4.  Justice

Setting Clear Boundaries

 

Linda begins a discussion on boundaries by telling her own parenting story; (5 minutes).  A preschool teacher briefly talks about boundaries.  Linda talks again about 10 guidelines for creating Family Ground Rules and about restorative justice versus retributive justice.  Shows incident with middle school students being disrespectful to substitute teacher and how it’s handled with virtues and an exercise from The Family Virtues Guide.  This tape is excellent for teaching boundaries and use in schools, particularly about reframing discipline situations with virtues.

 

5.  Reverence

Honoring the Spirit

 

Linda talks about the importance of spiritual reflection.  She describes a Spirit Walk and shows people doing it and then describing their experience. 

Beautiful nature photography.  Dan from the Cowichan Band describes Reverence for him.  This video covers Routines of Reverence and shows ways and possibilities for Reverence, including a Virtues Pick.  

 

6.  Truthfulness

Spiritual Companioning

 

Drelene and Peter Gibb talk about Truthfulness and listening.  Linda talks

about Spiritual Companioning.   She companions a 9 year old girl which provides a good model for spiritual companioning.  Others talk about companioning

and their experiences.  

 

7. Confidence

Review of the Language of the Virtues. 

 

Talks with many students and teachers about the importance of Confidence; what builds self-esteem, the virtues.  Great comments from students of all ages-elementary, middle and high school.  A couple of brief talks by Dan. A talk by Harriett Walden.  Excellent to show parts of this at schools or in presentations to schools.

 

8. Forgiveness

Teachable Moments

 

Quotes about Forgiveness and a virtues pick featuring forgiveness.  Most of the tape is about Moses Lake, WA and Colleen Trenfz who took the virtues to the whole community after a middle school student shot and killed 3 people at school.  Students are interviewed, and talk about how the virtues make a difference.  Signs of the virtues are throughout the town.  This could be shown to schools, community organizations or government groups and shows the power of the virtues and one person’s crusade to make it a learning experience (teachable moment).  Linda also does a forgiveness exercise with an adult workshop-burning the things they regret in a ceremonial fire and the healing that comes with it.

 

9.  Tolerance  

Discussion of Racism from several people of color  

 

Sashi Timura talks about intolerance and prejudice shown toward her daughter as a small child.  Harriett Walden talks about integration/segregation.  Linda gives a personal experience of her son and racism.  The need for setting clear boundaries and ground rules is discussed and demonstrated; examples from different families are given. 

The different needs in families are discussed.  An elementary school is shown using ground rules.  Discussion of what tolerance means for children, including jokes.  Flin Flon, Manitoba has a contest on tolerance for young children. 

How we can support differences and tolerance is discussed.

 

10.  Peacefulness

Review of Honoring the Spirit

 

Video begins with a virtues pick and the reading of the card on Peacefulness. 

We need time just for Being, making time for peaceful contemplation. 

Children talk about ways they are peaceful.  Heather Acres of Manitoba talks about taking time for Silence.  Linda talks about Honoring the Spirit, time for Reverence, how to include children and the influence of violent video games; too much stimulation, not enough contemplation.  Shows the town of Moses Lake, WA and how virtues are throughout the schools and the whole town. 

A principal and middle school boy talk about how bullying has been diminished because of virtues; (this clip could be used in middle school workshops).  The importance of teaching children Peacefulness is emphasized.  Children talk about how to resolve conflicts peacefully.  Dr. Dan Popov talks briefly about the importance of letting children know they are wanted and liked.  Parent Colleen Trefz of Moses Lake talks about acknowledging virtues in middle school kids and the effects.   Tape ends with reading of virtues card on Peacefulness.

 

11  Respect

Review of The Art of Spiritual Companioning™

 

Begins showing respect between older adults and preschool children.  Parent Doug Marsh talks about son Ian.  Shows the Marsh family at dinner talking respectfully to each other.  Kate and Doug talk about the importance of Spiritual Companioning.  Linda talks about Spiritual Companioning and then companions a woman, Kate, while demonstrating the steps.  Linda and Kate both tell stories of when they didn’t companion their children, how ineffective they were, and of their regrets.  Kate then gives a successful example of companioning her 7 yr. old son.  Students, a counselor and principal talk about using respect in school.

Parents talk about respect in regard to their teenagers.  Tape ends with reading the virtues card of Respect.

 

12.  Courage

 

Dr. Dan Popov talks briefly several times throughout this video.  He talks about virtues in potential, using the analogy of the seed (acorn) to the full grown tree, what it takes for self-discipline and creativity to grow, awakening the gifts within by noticing them, showing how children learn that they have virtues, and about courage.  Linda talks about the challenges in parenting, that it requires courage.

 

In the workshop, children join their parents and they talk about courage, what it means and how they’ve practiced it.  Parents Lisa and Paul Lucas talk about how communication in their family has changed with use of the virtues; their daughters speak about it also.  Other parents talk about different aspects of parenting with virtues.  Kindergarten children in Manitoba talk about using virtues. Quote from Plutarch, “A mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a flame to be ignited.”

 

13.  Unity 

 

This video is great for use in schools.  It features a middle school in Texas, interviewing the principal and students, showing school wide use, and the difference virtues make.  It also shows use in elementary schools, and preschools.

Series Two – Teenagers

14. “Who are you?”

 

Virtue:Assertiveness

Strategy: Speaking the language of The Virtues

Teenagers often have a bad reputation. Do they live down to these expectations? This episode shows teens and parents how they can use the power of positive language to break through negative images.

 

15. “Changes”

 

Virtue: Flexibility

Strategy: Recognizing Teachable Moments

Being a teen is a time for change. Increased responsibility and expectations alter the dynamics of relationships with ourselves, our parents and other teemagers. This episode outlines how being flexible while recognizing teachable moments can help make the transition into adulthood more positive for everyone.

 

16. “Who do you love?”

 

Virtue: Love

Strategy: Setting Clear Boundaries

This looks at how parents can set clear boundaries for their teens with love, and how teenagers can lovingly set boundaries for themselves.

 

17. “Being Your Best”

 

Virtue: Excellence

Strategy: Honor the Spirit

When we honor who we really are we are able to bring out the best in ourselves and others. This episode looks at ways we can take time to connect with our true selves in an ever busy world.

 

18. “Getting to the heart of the matter”

 

Virtue: Service

Strategy: Spiritual Companioning

This episode outlines the power of spiritual companioning and other ways teens are contributing to the world in a positive way. It features Spiritual Companioning with teens and their mothers.

 

19. Features a severely disabled teenage boy who climbs a mountain with help and service from his high school classmates and teachers.  It's very inspiring.

 

The video series can be borrowed from Virtues Project New Zealand.

Contact: Kay Miller, 167 Ohiro Rd, Brooklyn, Wellington. Kay.miller@xtra.co.nz

Costs: $20 per video or $30 for three plus the cost of returning to Trust. 

Registered facilitators and trainers – postage costs only.

  

They can also be purchased from Kinetic videos.

 

Check the VP website at www.virtuesproject.com or U.S Office in U.S.

255 Delaware Avenue

Buffalo, New York 14202

Phone: (716) 856-7631

Fax: (716) 856-7838

Toll-Free: (800) 466-7631  

 

Canadian Office

in Canada:

511 Bloor Street West

Toronto, Ontario M5S 1Y4

Phone: (416) 538-6613

Fax: (416) 538-9984

Toll-Free: (800) 263-6910